Thursday, October 24

Conquering Fear: A Guide to Freedom

“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me.
Danger is very real. But fear is a choice." - Cypher Raige (Will Smith), After Earth

Have you ever experienced a time in your life where you've grown so much in some way, mentally or psychically, that it kinda just snuck up on you? You pause for a moment, assess the situation, and say to yourself, "Wow, I've really changed."

This happens to me all the time with art. I'm in the middle of drawing, painting, or designing something and I have the realization that my skills improved. I'm now able to do something that wasn't possible for me in the past. I sit there, bask in it for a bit, and then move on. Those are lovely moments.

Well, recently I've noticed the most profound change in my behavior. I say this, because I want to share it with you too if you're interested. It happened because of my sister, Carin, being sick. That I know for sure, and it's interesting to dwell upon.

Carin has cancer. She's so young, and none of us saw it coming. That's life; full of mystery and wonder. Of course I had to deal with it in my own way, and being across the country away from her didn't help. I had some pretty dark moments, but what's more interesting is what came after. It was almost like I needed that dip to be propelled upward and go beyond what I was before.

I'm talking serious growth. Something that happened so fast that it almost perplexes me. I'm a completely new person, and it seems like the tragedy provided a means to higher understanding. Although, I don't believe that it takes a tragedy to grow. I do however believe that I was forced to adapt, and therefore gained so much from it.

So how does one grow without having to experience a hardship? Well, study what it is that you want. Focus on it, and concentrate if you find yourself drifting away because of the challenge. Just like I was forced to focus on such matters dealing with Carin, instead, one could voluntarily force themselves to do whatever it is that they know will make them grow.

What matter am I talking about? I'm talking about fear. Fear is the reason we do or do not act in life. It holds us back, it makes us illogical, and quite frankly it cripples us. I can think of so many things that fall into this category. I'm even reminded of the Napoleon Hill book, Think and Grow Rich, and how it talks about the six basic fears that all humans suffer from: The fear of poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of love, old age, and death. These arguably are the reasons that we're not successful in some aspects of our lives as well. I'll even take it one step further and be as bold to say that: Life is survival, fear is death.

Everything we do links back to survival or death. We fear things that we think can kill us, and the obvious things are like heights, deep water, predatory animals, poisonous insects, superstitions, the dark, and even the unknown. Death is the greatest unknown. Sure, but what about being afraid of giving a speech, starting a huge project, approaching an attractive person, or even something as simple as wearing a bathing suit in public? These too are all the same. We want others to love us, and we're afraid that we're not good enough. Humans are a social species, and if we're not loved that means death. We all know this very well from a young age. Our survival depends on others' love! A caring mother or individual that nurtures us until we can survive on our own is the perfect example of this. An infant would die, so being loved is vital. Even as an adult if we weren't loved we were left unprotected by others or even kicked out of the tribe. Back then that meant certain death, and the death of our potential lineage.

On the flip side, the more we're loved the more likely we're able to survive. More friends, more mating options, more respect, more opportunity, more abundance, etc. If we're successful, our human needs will most likely be met and happiness will surely follow. Again, life is love and it's programmed deep down within all of us. So if fear is death, then why do we bother with it?

For one thing, it's easy to be fearful, worried, or stressed. It's also a means to love, because of the attention and/or coddling. Being fearful is a choice though, and it only clouds judgement. That's why we respect confident people, want to be close to them, and give them more love than the former. Now, fear and emotions are not the same either. Experience that moment of sadness or angry, but don't be afraid or ashamed of it. It's okay to have a plethora of emotions. Just don't live there; don't let negativity be the default.  


Master fear with these steps:

1. Recognize fear - Notice when it happens, recognize why it's being triggered, and assess the situation.

2. Choose to stop - Nothing in life is worth the price of worry, and a person only destroys their own chances of intelligent action. This also affects others as well. They will reflect fear or confidence if they too are susceptible to such influence.

3. Focus and study - After an episode, go back and ponder the experience. Psychologically dig deep to really find the origin of the issue. This can be painful, but it needs to be addressed! Talk to others about it, study the subject, and implement a strategy that works for you personally. So that when fear strikes, it can be overcome quickly, and happens less in the future.

So with Carin, I was afraid for her and personally put myself in her shoes. I feared death.
Not only for a loved one, but my own death as well. These potent thoughts were enough
for me to face it, and come to the realization that death is natural. It's something that we
all have to go through. There's no reason to fear it, and there's absolutely no reason to
fear anything else. Life is good, and from here on out I will make better choices.

~Claudia

8 comments:

  1. I know how to conquer fear, I do it every day.
    But I have no one in my life for support or love, I am alone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First off, bravo because that's no easy feat Philip. That's wonderful to hear.
      Nobody at all? No friends or family? Well, you can always find me here and talk to me. Even if it's unrelated! :) Just say hi, and we'll strike up some good conversation.
      ~Claudia

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  2. Hey Claudia. I managed to take the time to read your article and I have to say. Very well said and well written (or rather typed). Every particle and piece of how fear personifies our choices and judgment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jon! Thanks so much. I appreciate it, and hope that it inspires in some way. Yes, it sure does. How are you doing today?
      ~Claudia

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    2. I'm doing great actually! I managed to attend Ringside Fest with friends and met two people I've always wanted to meet in Daniel
      Bryan and Kaitlyn from
      WWE. It was a great experience!!! This was a really fun and great day. I was really shy meeting Kaitlyn. She's very beautiful and nice. I know you probably don't know who theE people are but I'll be glad to explain soon. What about you how are you
      Doing today?

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    3. Oh that's so wonderful! I'm glad to hear. I know a few WWE people. That's cool that you got to meet them. :) I got to met The Miz in LA at E3 one year. There's a picture of his backside somewhere there because I was behind the booth: http://claudiasutton.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-e3-2010.html

      Oh, I'm well thank you. I was editing my YouTube video for next week. :) Now it's bedtime though! ZZZZZ
      Night Night!
      ~Claudia

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    4. Jonathan Coppin10/29/2013 12:43 AM

      I managed to view the journal and im really amazed you went to E3. Man I wish I knew you then And lived in Cali, I'd be able to go with ya! But it's no problem at all. Speaking of tired, I feel pretty tired myself. I should hit the hay now. Hope to talk with you again soon.

      - Jonathan

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    5. Indeed. They're quite a treat. :) There's always the future!
      ~Claudia

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